Chopped Dessert Round: Jared and Blake Style

 Let me tell you a story. So, I made this adorable little cake on Saturday, complete with purple and pink chocolate tiara and fondant high heels. It was pretty cute, if I do say so myself. Well, that cake was supposed to be the theme of this post. But, as you can see, no cake. The pick-up crew came quite a bit early and caught me quite off guard. I became so caught up in my kitchen looking like a wreck (and the fact that I was still in my pajamas) that I didn’t even take a picture. NOT ONE!!!

So then, I frantically paced around the family room complaining about my inability to remember things like taking pictures of my cakes. I (ever so nicely) stomped right up to Jared and said, “YOU MAKE A RECIPE NOW! I HAVEN”T BLOGGED IN ALMOST TWO WEEKS AND IT’S YOUR FAULT!” Obviously, I exaggerate things…just a little :)

Then, I got the most lovely idea ever. If I have no cake to blog about, I must make an event to blog about. This must be something exciting, captivating, and worthy of praise. Behold my friends, CHOPPED!

 Now, because we are all Food Network junkies here, I’m sure we understand the concept of chopped. There are four chefs, a secret basket of ingredients, and usually 30 minutes on the clock to make a dish. They need to use at least some of EVERY ingredient in the basket. If they don’t, they are (you guessed it) CHOPPED! However, because I had only two men willing to participate, and I had an intense fear of the destruction that could be caused by something of this magnitude, I pushed foward to the dessert round and gave them 20 minutes. And the secret ingredients are………………………………….




 I put 20 minutes on the clock, and they were off. Let me tell you, this won’t be pretty.

 Well, it started much like this picture above. Violence: there was lots and lots of violence.

 Once their childish games has subsided, the frantic mixing began.

 Blake decided that crushing his grapes would be the best option. The tool he found, you might ask? Ohh, well that’s the (according to Blake) “food crushing mallet tool.”

 Jared decided that pulsing his grapes to a grapey pulp would be the best way to utilize his secret ingredient.

 Again, Blake found yet another use for his new tool. Here he is crushing the snack mix.

 Blake rumaged throught the cupboard and decided that adding dried fruit to his undry fruit would be a creative way to utilize his culinary skills (or lack thereof).

 Wow, what a suprise. Fighting? Again? Hmmm…. (Blake has found yet another use for his tool)

 Jared, after watching me make lots of caramel, decided that his tootsie rolls would be best served that way. How did that work for you Jared?

 Obviously, Blake needed to use his versatile secret weapon ingredient, applesauce. He also learned that the “metal stirring tool” isn’t exactly helpful when it comes to marshmallow fluff.


 Jared decided that Blakes tool looked rather intriguing. He quitely borrowed the tool to crush his own snack mix. At that, Blake violently struck Jared in the eye, causing it to bleed. Then, he took the mashing tool out of Jared’s hands and went on with his own creation. Jared, after recovering for a full 17 seconds, got up, and used his own mashy tool (his hand). I was so impressed by the display of bravery…that I wept.

 Then, the violence, blood, gore, and smack talk ceased. These were the moments that you could really see that this was a big deal to them. The winner of this would determine the culinary status of these two individuals for the rest of their lives. Look at that determination.

 And look at THAT determination.

 Determination from a slightly different angle.

 Blake seems to be finishing up whatever the heck he is doing.

 Next, the dainty placing of the garnishes was all that Blake was focused on.

 Yes, fighting…what a surprise.

 Blake, in the process of plating his fabulous dessert (or so he called it). In the process, he stole Jared’s apple that he cut for garnish.

 Jared, plating his….uhh…..hmmmm….

 And twenty minutes was up! The judges, myself and Valerie, were faced with one of the most difficult decisions of our lives. After deliberating, these were the recommendations and praises for each dish:


  • Your “creative” use of the tootsie roll really sucked.
  • Causing wounds to a competitor is highly frowned upon.
  • You stole the apple from Jared.


  • The taste was “blow your mind” incredible. (This surprised me more than anything)
  • Your plating was very creative. We both were very impressed at the delightful combination of all of the garnished.
  • The texture of the crushed grapes was rather delightful.



  • Your plating sucked big time. It looked like someone vomited up a milkshake and a few animal crackers.
  • The taste of the soggy animal crackers made us WANT to vomit.
  • The fact that we used the word vomit in two recommendations really makes us want to vomit even more.


  • Your tootsie roll caramel was a very creative way to use a secret ingredient.
  • You DIDN’T steal your garnish.
  • You were wounded and stilll managed to plate your dessert.
  • The taste was actually rather surprisingly delightful.


But, there could be only one winner. After tallying up our votes and taking into account different factors, the winner based on taste and presentation (and ironically NOT on sportsmanship), is……………………………………..


Although much violence, torture, and harsh words had been recieved by both competitors, in the end they were very happy with their newfound culinary skills. However, Jared’s “bowl of vomit” is still sitting on the counter. I had to put a bowl over top so I didn’t have to look at it. Enough said.

Tune in next time for the next episode of CHOPPED: JARED AND BLAKE STYLE!